I'M BRACE FREE AND SOO FRACKING HAPPY!

So here we are, it's over, finally! I almost can't believe it. I'm just so so happy...

I'll shake off the euphoria just so I can tell you how de-bracing went.

 I was still terrified, expecting the worst which would be being told I can't have them removed that day. I wore my elastics in the car and took them off last minute so that my teeth would be in the right position for sure, and when Dr  Shaarh said 'Shall we take them off then?' I almost cried as I nodded a reply as his hand was still in my mouth.

DE-BRACING HURTS

I wasn't expecting this to be honest, I thought, they would use that solution which disolves the glue, they used it to clean up my mouth when they first fitted the braces to removed excess glue, but no, they just PULLED.

My god it hurt. and then came the scrapping of the glue! very painful on sensitive teeth but I just screwed up my eyes and grasped my hands together in my lap and it was eventually over. Felt like hours but honestly took about an hour and that was with impressions made too.

RETAINER 

As soon as they'd scraped the glue off and I'd had a quick look in the mirror, they took 4 impressions of my teeth - two top two bottom. Then it was off home, until half 4 when I#d go back to retrieve my retainers. 

I was praying I would have the hard plastic type that you only have to wear at night.

Everything had gone my way that day :P

These are clear plastic, and just to worn at night every night for the first year, then every other day after that. I have to remember to buy some retainer brite to clean them with, otherwise soapy COLD water is fine (not hot as they will melt and they're only going to replace them within the first year, after that I have to pay at a dentist!) I got to chose this nice pink box too :)

I'm all moved in to my new place for uni now, living with Tom and 3 others, I'll take some photos soon and show you my room. I'm so so grateful that my braces were removed just in time for freshers' week to start! I haev the choice to tell people I meet from here on out that I had my surgery or not. Cause theres no way to know, and I like that, I look normal. 

This was the last photo taken with braces, and as happy as I was in that photo, I'm certainly more complete, more content with myself in the next few :)

So there you go, I'm pretty much done here, I'll be having a check up in 3 months, and then this time next year a meeting with my surgeon to see how I'm getting on and then I'm not going to see them again - I bought them a thank you card lol.

I'll post relevant things soon and let you know about numbness and other jaw related things, and I'm always looking at your progress - it makes me happy to see everyone getting on so well.

But for now, I'm gonna focus on smiling and going out and building back some of that confidence I've been missing all these years!

See you soon 

x

Day 1 Recap/ Day 2/ LOTS OF PICTURES + Shout outs!

Right! This is the last two days from the beginning, be prepared for a lot of photos!

So, as you know, on Monday 15th at 7am I checked in to Newcross hospital, and started what turned out to be a very long wait.

Surgery morning

I had a slight temperature (37.9) so they took some bloods and made me wait. then there were no beds free, so my wait continued, I was starting to worry that I would be sent home and would have to be postponed! But then luckily, at 2.15pm I was told to get changed into my gown and head down to theater. 

my converse match my gown :)

one last smile with this face :)

 I really got to the point where I wasn't nervous anymore. I don't know whether it was due to my long wait, or maybe I just figured, its gonna happen. whether I'm scared or not, so I might as well go in with my head held high and big-ass smile on my face :)

The staff were really nice, chatting away to me as they got ready. they took my temperature again and it was still a little high, but I litterally stressed to them how hot it was in the waiting room and that I felt fine - also hadn't been allowed any fluids since 6am!

The surgeon was talking to me about CSI and before I knew it, the room began to spin- they'd given me the anesthesia without me even realising and I was off to sleep :)

2 hours later - half an hour post op

I woke up at about 6.15pm feeling fine - I must really agree with being put to sleep - I feel like I've had a great nights sleep!

I asked if I could remove my oxygen mask, they agreed and then told me I looked really happy I was like I am! They cleaned up my hands and face, and then I raised my hand to feel my jaw for the first time. 

Already I could tell the difference - where my chin would normally be was nothing lol, it felt smaller, and yes, swollen, but already I felt really happy.

I was up and about immediately and didn't feel like sleeping or lying down. My parents turned up about 7pm, and the look of relief on my moms face was funny - apparently she'd been stressing about seeing me so swollen but was relieved when it wasn't too bad.

I hadn't seen myself yet - there were no mirrors in my room and I didn't have my stuff back yet, but my mom took these pictures.

 I can feel and see the difference in my chin length, and despite the swelling being uneven, I can see the symmetry already :) 

Now, my dad pointed out these bruises on my leg, I wondered if one of the surgeons had pinched me as they lent over me, but when I showed the nurse, she told me that it was from the pads used to 'ground' me as a current is used with one of the cutting devices! I'd just had a reaction to the adhesive.

My first night

I was dosed up with codine and paracetamol at 7.30pm, and when it came for my next dose at 11pm I had to eat something to line my stomach. I had this yogurt - it was amazing :) and I felt great still - no nausea or trouble breathing or anything.

 I managed to sleep from 12ish to about 4am, then was awake until now! I'm pretty exhausted, but it was annoying as there was no blind in my room so the sunshine kept me awake. 

Numbness

my left side, which was very swollen compared to my right, had almost complete numbness, and my chin and lip was numb too. 

My surgeon told me that they were able to completely avoid my nerve so there will be no damage which I was very happy about!

Day 2

I was a lot more swollen today- my throat is pretty swollen and that thing that dangles at the back of your throat must be swollen cause it feels like I need to constantly spit something out. 

I'm so happy to see my front teeth again!!! I've missed them. my bite is perfectly straight at the front, but my molars don't meet properly so I guess I'll have a fair bit of brace work after. 

 For breakfast I had a few spoonfuls of readybrek and some juice and tea which was nice. But I've mostly drank water - I'm probably more hydrated than ever before!

 The bruising is really coming out, on my left side and under my chin. I finally got discharged at 3pm, I've been so much happier at home!

Overall I'm so surprised at how well I feel - I feel I was very lucky and had a very smooth ride. I hope this will continue.
I'm currently lying here with a bag of peas on my face - it's really helped with the swelling. I keep getting a really itchy chin - but because its still numb I can't feel where to scratch it, it's driving me crazy!

Well I'm gonna try and get some sleep now, and I just wanted to say thank you to all of you, Amanda K, Corrinne, Ellie Fant, Cassie, Sarah P,
Heather - I hope all went well today!!! 
Natasha - I will definitely meet up with you when I'm in Peterborough! maybe the 28th??

Anyone I've missed  I do appologise - I'm fracking knakered!

Good night guys - It's all been worth it!!!! 

Surgery in 7 days!!/ Post-opp-Inventory?

So, this time next week, hopefully it will all be over, and hopefully despite the swelling and pain, I will be happy :)

I'm very nervous - I got very overwhelmed and cried on webcam to Tom the other night, but that's just between us okay?

But, thinking more logically now, I need to start preparing for post opp life

So, I know a lot of you after surgery posted a list of things you needed, used and didnt use during recovery and other than Frubes (cause they're delicious), I haven't really got anything yet!

Any suggestions?

I could very easily live off of these :)

14 days to go!!!

So this time tomorrow, surgery will be over with- or maybe I'll still be under the knife, I'm not really sure how long its gonna take, but I have one last appointment come though with my surgeon for this Thursday 4th July where he will make any final adjustments and answer any last questions  I have, like how long will it take etc.

So, this is pretty trivial, but if any of you have seen my previous irrelevant posts, you'll know I love piercings. I have 19 of them, and worry about a few which I feel will heal up fast if left out - I have to practically re-pierce my nose if I forget to put it back in after work! I might be stating the obvious, but I don't think they'll even let me keep in plastic retainers whilst I'm in surgery - I know its for my own safety, and I'm sure I'll have better things to worry about, but when I come to, the first thing I'll wanna do is put my piercings back in!

I'm getting pretty nervous right now...I'm probably driving my family and friends crazy as I'm always talking about it. My boyfriend is being great about it too - he wants to come down immediately after I'm out of surgery, but I hate feeling vulnerable and I'm gonna look and feel like shiiiite so I don't know about that yet.

Bottom line is, I can't wait!

I'll post on thursday and tell you all what my surgeon has to say :)

Have a good week!

x

Surgery prep begins!!! :D

Good Afternoon, you beautiful braced-bloggers!

I'm in a significantly amazing mood as I came home yesterday to find a letter containing my next appointment which will consist of a bunch of pre-op preperations!

I think I am getting my surgical braces on (YAY) I just wish I could still have my pink rubber bands on!

I know for sure that I'm getting more X-rays and impressions made to create a 3D 'Wafer' or whatever that is.

And I will find out for SURE if July 15th is my date :)

I see you're all coming along so well! post opps- you're healing nicely and looking great! and those of you like me know its not too far away now! 

So, Friday 31st May I will update you as soon as I leave the hospital!


Speak to you soon!

So... I have a date for surgery!

Driving home from the joint clinic, saw my surgeon and my new consultant, and he says there is a cancellation on July 15.

July 15 is now my favorite date ever.

I will have 2 appointments, 1 to change my braces to surgical ones, and 1 to make a 3d wafer.
He said i most likely will have plates as opposed to wires as my jaw will only be moved back 4mm, and 4mm rotation, and i will be in hospital over night.
Can not wait. I actually feel a little out of it with relief right now, so Im gona have a cup of tea and get back to you when I've calmed down ;) ;) ;)

So, I've been laying-low for a while...

I didn't write anything about this cause I just didn't want to post another depressing, moaning story and bum you guys all out!

But yeah, literally straight after I told you guys how I was gonna get an earlier appointment and that my surgeon wanted to see me soon, I got a call from his secretary saying he can't. So I must stick to my original joint-clinic appointment which isn't until May.

I felt so low, I cried on the way home on the train. And for the first time ever, I thought,

'I wish I'd never began this whole process.'

But of course, as soon as I thought it, I removed it from my mind because this is what I wanted, and I have to accept that it comes with is downsides.
But, its been over a week now, and I'm just accepting it as there's nothing else I can do!

Except wait and wait.....

You're all cheering me up with your amazing progress though... 

I'm not at all resentful and bitter at all.... haha! No really I love the vibes that come from a positive post. We seem to bounce of each other and it feels good. So here's a happier post. ish.

So I'm not gonna be in recovery as soon as I though. Big deal. the main thing is, it's gonna happen. and I've decided to stop waiting around for it - I can't put my life on hold!! I've booked tickets for a bunch of gigs which I was hesitant about incase it fell on my surgery lol! So I'm seeing Ill Nino this week, and Killswitch Engage in a few and I'm gona head of to a few theme parks and.....

Anyway you get the point :)

Hope you're all having a good Easter, And don't tell your ortho's you're munchin' on all that chocolate!!! x

Things are coming together

First off, congratulations, Esmerelda on your surgery! All our love with you, and hope you feel okay! xx

Finally some good news! 
So after being concerned at how far away the appointment for the joint clinic was (May 2nd!) I called my surgeons secretary at the hospital where I will be having surgery and explained to her that no one was giving me any information and I didn't know what to do. 

She was a lovely lady, and told me she'd go find my surgeon and find out whats going on and get back to me Monday. She then called back after just an hour and told me that my surgeon said he has no idea why my orthodontic hospital would set an appointment so late, and that he's told them to send over my files and he will see me before the end of the month with a bit of luck!

This is just the bit of positivity I needed to get through this week. 
I hate to be 'that' patient who calls every week, but hell, it worked!

Good night guys!

Goodbye, blonde! Needed a change to celebrate my good news 

No news was good news/ 2 years with braces

Many people dislike Mondays, but for me, the last couple of weeks, I've wished the weekend to be over so that Monday will come and I can call the hospital to find out if I have a date to meet my surgeon. I call so often we're on first name terms now.

Well for 2.5 seconds, today felt like my big break.

The Receptionist told me 'oh, yes actually you do have an appointment!'
'Oh thats brilliant, when is it?'
'May 2nd'
'.......'

May 2nd. Just to meet with the guy, then god knows when my surgery will be. I actually cried a little once I hung up.

So I called my surgeon's secretary and begged her to find out why this is taking so long - I don't understand how last year they were certain it would be January, then this year they've assured me it would be March.. and now possibly not even May?

Today also marks the 2 years since I've had braces, and if the date for my appointment is anything to go by, I've got another good 5 months with these attached to my face. If you're a blogger who reads my rants regularly, you'll know that a common complaint of mine is people mistaking my age due to my braces. But it's not all bad - as yesterday, bowling with my family, I passed as a 15 year old and got a child's ticket! knocked 6 years off me!

All in all, not a good start to the week. The secretary said she will gather my case file and speak with my surgeon and get back to me within a few days. I'm praying for good news.

Also, May is exam time - just my luck to have my face broken then.

Hope your weeks start off better, have a good day, bloggers!

Could it be...?

Good evening, or, if you're here in the UK with me, good (early) morning! I've just finished work and thought I'd let you know how my appointment went.

[SOS brace appointment to sort out the gap which had formed]

So I had my 'favorite' locum orthodontist, and okay, I will actually admit he was nice to me last week, and I think there's a mutual agreement to surrender any grudges and misconceptions which we may have had for each other - or maybe its cause we both know we'll never have to see each other again! aha!

But on an amazing note, after he sorted the gap, by adding 2 elastics either side of my bottom teeth, my mom asked him if he had any idea when my surgery would be (she wants to book a holiday....) and he looked surprised and said, 'oh, haven't you received your joint clinic date yet? because your surgery is all planned here (gestures to my file)' 

I was like, No. Fracking. Way.

This means, that my surgeon has put in to writing/drawing/whatever, what I am having done! I don't know what this plan is yet, but its real! and its there! and its going to happen! I'm litterally just waiting for a meeting with him, so he can share this with me - I have a good feeling that it has been posted to me and I will receive this next week. so...

I could be having surgery this month?!?

I'm feeling good about this - I'm confident, and optimistic and I just know it won't be much longer, I mean, my teeth are done now, so they can't keep them in this limbo of not moving much longer! This is such a better feeling than last week, and I promise, even if I get let down again, I'll stay positive cause you guys really know how to help keep me going - I need to get my ass in to gear and do the same for you!

So for all you Brace bloggers, who, like me, are quickly approaching the 2 year mark...

Hang in there, it's gonna get better, I promise!

(I Was so happy, I went for a walk and smiled to myself whilst listening to some very positive music :) )

FYI - I never did find out what was causing the blood/metallic taste, and Google says a common cause is pregnancy, but I'm ruling that one out as I appear to be missing one key act for this to be a possibility... >.<

Pessimism/ Tasting Blood?

For the past few days now I can taste that distinctive metallic taste of blood, specifically to the one side of my mouth, the left. I have no cuts, sores, and I feel fine, I haven't had a nose bleed, nor do I feel I'm going to have one, so I really have no idea why this is - its very annoying!

Unrelated (I think) I may have chipped one of my molars which has the bracket around it, coincidentally also on the left, as the middle of my tooth feels rough since I was munching on some sherbet pips (totally worth it!) - but there is no pain, no sensitivity, so I'm writing this off to not being connected to the blood-taste.

I'm still borderline concerned about the taste...I will mention it on Thursday at my SOS brace appointment with Mr Clumsy-Hands-Locum (joy!). I'm also prepared for him to tell me there is no gap and that I've wasted an appointment slot, but I know I'm doing the right thing.

So here's a few photos, just to show I'm not seeing things - there IS a gap which has decided to squeeze its way in, which hasn't been there for a long time, from early last year to now. 

Enjoy!

27th April 2012 - GAP (and when I still had hope for surgery in 2012)

24th January 2013 - NO GAP (Surgery in February??)

Tonight - GAP (All hope is gone...)

General Face Update

I'm not even sure which is my 'good side' today..

(It's meant to be this one btw) 

          

'Return of the Gap'/ Photo update

Right! since my last appointment - where no adjustments were made, only metal chain runners designed to maintain the current position of my teeth as I need no more adjustments, I have noticed a gap forming between my front teeth at the bottom.

This is the very gap that set me back 2 months and was the cause of my surgery being postponed.

(above) My bite 16th december - the day of my last adjustment - no gap.

(Above) My bite today- its hard to see, but the gap is large enough for my fingernail to fit between.

Its not just me is it?

I'm not taking any chances, so I called and set up an SOS appointment for 1st of February and I won't leave until they promise me they have fixed it and there will be NO MORE DELAYS!!!

*PHOTO UPDATE*

So, to sum up, everything's pretty normal, still have my silly jaw, still hate it, getting so so fed up and restless now, but hey, I've waited this long, I can wait a few more months can't I? 

Two more sleeps...

One more day until I (hopefully) get the all clear and am given a date for surgery.

(I'm really ill with a chest infection at the moment - this had better be gone by then otherwise they might not see me!)

Still, lets stay positive!

Goodnight, and then its one more sleep... :D

*Raise's Glass* I'd like to thank all the bullies...

A post by blogger, Corrinne  got me thinking about how I used to feel about my face, and why I'm where I am today.

I used to be afraid to talk about my jaw, because if you talk about something, you give others permission to talk about it too- my family included. Kids at my school had enjoyed publicly humiliating me, a particularly bold class mate said my face was the shape of a foot, due to its asymmetry, and so kindly pointed this out to the whole class. Other significantly younger students have said my chin looked like a ..ahem, for use of a better word, penis! 

I never wanted to draw attention to my face, I think that's why I bite my nails - so that my hand is covering my mouth. I tried not to smile in class, and my eye contact, is STILL atrocious. I just felt like everyone was looking at it, everyone knew it looked weird. I couldn't bare to discuss this with my family because again, I was scared to have anyone else essentially agreeing with the bullies. 

Other than being referred to the Birmingham dental hospital for the TMJD (clicky, locking activity going on in my right jaw!) I hadn't addressed the cosmetic factor of my jaw, and always thought I'd never be considered an important enough case for surgery.

I have to thank one girl in particular, she found out her ex boyfriend liked me and she tagged me in a post on Facebook which said 'If I knew he liked it so much, I'd have grown a massive f**k-off chin like that.' If it wasn't for her harsh words, I wouldn't have had the courage to finally tell my parents how much this bothered me, and wouldn't have booked my first jaw consultation. Thanks again!

So here I am! - years away from the name calling of 2002-2007 and just 2 months away from having the courage to maintain eye contact with people because I'll have nothing to fear, but you know, even if I wasn't having this surgery, I wouldn't be afraid any more  You realise how childish people are as youths, and in the 'grown up world' it is (hopefully) very rare anyone would treat you that was just for looking slightly different.

Although it might not have began this way, I can happily say, that I'm having this surgery for ME and me alone, not to give them something prettier to look at ;)

Face update - 1 year 10 months with braces

In march I will have had these braces for 2 years, and lately, my tolerance for them is wearing thin.

Its the little things that annoy me now, silly things which aren't a big deal. Its the way people treat me, and don't understand - I do explain why they're necessary to the surgery, but most of the time I get 'Oh when I had braces it was a piece of cake...they were off within 6 months...' I'm like, yes well this is different... but they don't get my frustration!

[In the convenience store]

Shop assistant - 'Do you have any ID for that?'

Me - 'Yes, I'm 21, and this is a scratch card...'

[At work on break]

Me - 'can I have a knife and fork, please?'

Manager - 'why? you're eating a sandwich.'

Me - 'I know but its easier on account of my braces..'

Manager - 'Lol, You're so weird, haven't you had those braces for like, forever?'

Me - '....forget it.'

[My local pub]

Me - 'Hey, I'll have half a cider please'

Bartender - 'Okay can I see some ID?'

Me - *Shows ID* 'I'm 21, and you went to school with me!!!'

Bartender - 'Oh well its cause of the braces...'

[Flirting with hot guy]

Hot guy - 'Erm...I really like you Sophie, but I think you're a little young for me, maybe if you were a little older..'

Me - 'I'm 21!!!'

Hot guy - 'Oh really? You know I wouldn't have guessed, you don't expect someone your age to still have braces!'

Me - 'I don't still have braces, I - ...never mind.'

I know I'm being excessive here, but I think I'm just bitter from being postponed.

END OF RANT - Back to braces!

With my hair straight you can really see the shape of my face.

My teeth alignment hasn't really changed much, I think thats why I'm getting so wound up - nothing is changing!

This, again, is my good side... I'm smiling, but you really can't tell

This is my bad side, which actually isn't much different from my good side, except I try to steer clear of photographs this side. Hate that downwards line by my mouth - makes me look sad I think.

I really want my appointment to come through soon! It's been over 6 weeks for sure! I called and they said I'm waiting cause I don't have a set orthodontist, as mines gone of to have a baby, so its just whoever is around and available for me.

The waiting game - a pre-op's worst nightmare

Keeping Myself Entertained

I often wonder what my new face will look like.

I see everyone's before and afters and its so amazing to see how a person can look so much better and happier, but still keep the little expressions that make them, 'them' you know?

Me? I just want to be able to look people in the eyes when I talk to them without thinking 'are they looking at my jaw? Can they tell? They don't like me I just know it!' 

I want to take a decent photo without having to remember which side to avoid at which angle.

I think I'll be 'complete' once this is fixed. Like I can be the best person I can be.

At least I know where I stand (appointment update)

 I've just got home, appointment went well, other than it not being my last, but I had (another) new orthodontist, he was very nice, and straight to the point. He told me that I will definitely only be having my one jaw operated on, as there is only enough 'movement' for the bottom jaw. He promised me this will be enough to fix the symmetry, and showed me this on the moulds taken back in may(!), how that if I really wanted my upper jaw done too, they'd have to remove 2 pre-molars and this will extend my waiting time by another year! So I told him straight way 'whatever gets me there quickest!' He said only having the one jaw done will also cut my recovery time down, so that's a positive.

Clever little metal-chain-runner; you're almost invisible :)

So, I'm at the point where in 6 weeks I will have a double appointment where photographs, moulds and X-rays will be taken and they can decide what will actually be done during surgery. He says that my teeth are doing great, I've kept them nice and clean which wasn't easy with the chain runner across them, so to add the finishing touches and close off any little gaps, he's made me a new type of chain, which you can see in the photograph is made of wire this time, not plastic, so it won't discolour, and its more hygienic.

I was a little disappointed when he told me about the next appointment, but I says for my actual surgery, given that nothing goes wrong, will happen early next year, latest February - which will give me some time in the half term to recover, saying that, my course year finishes in April  so I could even wait till then.

All in all, it was good. I got those horrid plastic, stained runners off, and got my nice new clean pink bands back, so my smile doesn't look so scary now. I can be patient, its all coming together, very slowly :)

Waiting...

Theres no one else here in the maxillofacial waiting room, hope I get seen soon!

Lipstick and Nervousness!

I still don't quite 'get' lipstick

 I love wearing it now, but I can't eat or drink anything without wondering if its moved from where I put it! I used to avoid drawing any unnecessary attention to my face at all costs, but now that I'm that close to fixing it, I just don't care - also, the braces are immediately in your line of vision so its not really worth trying is it!


I apologise for spamming you guys with pointless pictures, but I'm really restless tonight - I have my appointment at 11 tomorrow morning, and I neeeeed good news with this one!

Wish me luck, okay?

Nervous smile!  :/