Friday, 4 January 2013

*Raise's Glass* I'd like to thank all the bullies...

A post by blogger, Corrinne  got me thinking about how I used to feel about my face, and why I'm where I am today.

I used to be afraid to talk about my jaw, because if you talk about something, you give others permission to talk about it too- my family included. Kids at my school had enjoyed publicly humiliating me, a particularly bold class mate said my face was the shape of a foot, due to its asymmetry, and so kindly pointed this out to the whole class. Other significantly younger students have said my chin looked like a ..ahem, for use of a better word, penis! 

I never wanted to draw attention to my face, I think that's why I bite my nails - so that my hand is covering my mouth. I tried not to smile in class, and my eye contact, is STILL atrocious. I just felt like everyone was looking at it, everyone knew it looked weird. I couldn't bare to discuss this with my family because again, I was scared to have anyone else essentially agreeing with the bullies. 

Other than being referred to the Birmingham dental hospital for the TMJD (clicky, locking activity going on in my right jaw!) I hadn't addressed the cosmetic factor of my jaw, and always thought I'd never be considered an important enough case for surgery.

I have to thank one girl in particular, she found out her ex boyfriend liked me and she tagged me in a post on Facebook which said 'If I knew he liked it so much, I'd have grown a massive f**k-off chin like that.' If it wasn't for her harsh words, I wouldn't have had the courage to finally tell my parents how much this bothered me, and wouldn't have booked my first jaw consultation. Thanks again!

So here I am! - years away from the name calling of 2002-2007 and just 2 months away from having the courage to maintain eye contact with people because I'll have nothing to fear, but you know, even if I wasn't having this surgery, I wouldn't be afraid any more  You realise how childish people are as youths, and in the 'grown up world' it is (hopefully) very rare anyone would treat you that was just for looking slightly different.

Although it might not have began this way, I can happily say, that I'm having this surgery for ME and me alone, not to give them something prettier to look at ;)


  1. Bravo! It's so great that your attitude about your jaw has already changed prior to surgery!

    I'm experiencing something similar - while I was never teased about my jaw, I went through a period where I really hated my appearance because of it. I let it affect my entire attitude and the way I interacted with others ("I'm not a pretty girl, so I can't act like that without looking silly" etc)

    Now, I realize that was ridiculous! I'm also two months away from surgery, but even with braces, even if I wasn't having surgery, I would still feel really good about who I am, inside and out.

    Best of luck with your surgery!

    P.S. You have beautiful features, even with an underbite! Always celebrate them! :)

    1. It's so good to know that people can relate to what I'm talking about - it certainly didn't feel that way before!

      I can't wait for surgery and if it got postponed again I think I'd have a break down, but knowing what I know now, I know I could easily be happy as I am, I'm just incredibly lucky to be given the opportunity to make a little adjustment ;)

      But like you, 2 months...We're almost there!!

      I think a good thing to remember is that we shouldn't wait for surgery to change our lives - there is no reason we shouldn't be who we want to be right now! :)

    2. Good news to. Hear Im. New to blogging myself and will have surgery nxt mth.When is yours?

    3. Hey, welcome! Everyone is awesome here! apologies for late reply - I've been out of the country!

      I have been postponed as my surgery should have been christmas time, but now I'm having my (hopefully) last pre-opp appointment on wednesday where, if all goes well, I will be having surgery in February!

      Congratulations that you have a date! I bet the nerves are setting in?

  2. Hi there! I'm a new follower, and just wanted to wish you all the best while you prep for surgery. I have similar chin issues, and am going to have surgery in either February or March. I'm sorry to hear about all the teasing/bullying you've had to endure. But don't worry... just let you spirit shine! Embrace life, and push aside anyone who gets in your way.

  3. To quote Postgradgin; 'Bravo'! And 'cheers' to doing it for ourselves :) x