Day 905!!! 3 years later, my face is changing - on its own! :(

I hope you're all well!

I came back to this blog, to look at photos of me from surgery till now, because lately I've noticed some drastic changes to my face - the asymmetry is back, granted not as bad as pre-op, but its not as good as a year after surgery.

My jaw had also began to 'crack' and 'lock', which was my original problem - CAUSED by the original asymmetry. So I'm wondering if my face has changed, and because of that have the same problems as before....


I'm struggling to not feel like it wasn't worth it

I mean I know obviously it is, and was, but I feel like I'm back to being concious of how I hold my head, and how I angle my face in photographs...

2012 - Before/ 2016 Now: my right side is flatter, has less shape to it than before surgery.

^2013 after

 2016

 Now super lopsided again>>>

Even my mom has noticed it now - an she doesn't like to say anything to make me feel self conscious if not necessary.

I read an article, no surgery related, about a girl who developed asymmetry through chewing primarily on one side of her mouth.

I REALISED I ONLY CHEW ON MY RIGHT which apparently, could make my left side 'larger' just like anything else lacking exercise. So I've swapped sides to see if over time, it'll make any difference, and already the clicking has stopped!!
I have one last ortho appointment in a few months, if its still an issue I'll mention it.

2015 was a pretty crappy year.... This year holds graduation, new jobs, and hopefully a new home!

When you're smiling.... Day: 276/ Shout-outs for Corrinne, Amanda and Natasha!

So I recently got asked about my surgery by a girl who will be having her surgery at the end of this month (Good Luck, Sarah!) and talking about it again made me think I should do a little update.

What can I say, I'm really happy, I feel good, no, better than good I feel NORMAL! I'm making eye contact with my peers and lecturers at university and no one has said to me 'GOSH You've had jaw surgery!' (sounds stupid but this was at one point a fear..' 

Nope, no one suspects a thing ;) But don't get me wrong, I'm far from embarrassed about it. I needed it. I wanted it, and it's helped me, and so many more people like me, not look better - that's just the bonus, but feel confident enough to walk in to a room full of people and to know that whatever thoughts pop in to their heads, it's not about your jaw!

I've had some big presentations since being at university- group and individual, and I was able to stand at the podium and look each person in the eyes, and not feel the burning stare I used to get as they tried to assess what was off about my face!

Jaw Stuff? Oh right I forgot that's what you come here for!

I am almost 10 months post opp and honestly, my only complaint is again, numbness. It's still there in half of my chin and all of my lower lip - and the gums are the worst. My surgeon still swears there was no disruption of the nerve so because of this, even he doesn't know when I will regain sensation, he just says I should.

I know its a little far gone to be talking about swelling, but there is kinda still some there. My right side of this photo, is still 'thicker; than the other, which is due to the mass of muscle, which has been described to me as 'shifted in to a pile' when my face was rotated, so the thinner side is thinner literally because it has less muscle on it. the thicker side will settle down with time, but even if it didn't I wouldn't be bothered.

(On a side note, I got hit in the face at a concert the other month and OH MY GOD it hurt - I can feel the metal in the sides of my face, and around them was a sharp shooting pain and it swelled a little the next few days.)

Despite not posting, I still visit here probably 5 times a month to see how y'all doing, and I must say theres some amazing results you've got!

Natasha! (awimpsguidetoorthognathicsurgery.blogspot.co.uk)  You look happier each time I see your updates! Hope you have fun in Germany!

Corrinne, (jawsurgery-journey.blogspot.co.uk) your de-braced smile is beautiful :)

and Amanda (bracefacethesequel.blogspot.co.uk) You're glowing! Good luck with your family!

Day 113 - Where has the time gone?

Wow, where do I begin?

These last few months have gone so fast - I mean it's almost Christmas!

I'm a bad Blogger - I haven't blogged since 19th September!

I've been busy, living away from home in my new shared house (yay), studying Forensics; looking at lots of dead bodies, and of course, going out and having lots of photos taken- from ANY angle ;)

Halloween! I carved my first pumpkin all by myself (my mom usually scoops out the seeds!)

It's Jack Skellington 

I'm still so happy - and generally content with my jaw, I don't shy away any more!

But first, here's my new room!! It pretty much looks like my old room now that I've moved all my paintings and posters in to it!

I love this house, it's so nice :) It's an old house which had been modified inside and we're the first people to live in it since so it's all nice and fresh. Floor space! I've been craving it since I moved out in 2010 for uni but came back to find my brother had taken my room leaving me with the box room. 

New Additions! 

Tom and I got some mice :) They're currently residing on my bedroom floor as I don't have a table to put them on, but they're cute to watch. we named them Bubblegum and Rainicorn - from Cartoon Network's Adventure Time :)

JAW STUFF

-I'm still pretty distressed at times with the sensation I get in my chin and gums, they're still really numb...but not numb enough to ignore. I get lots of itching, not tingling, the tingling was easy to deal with, but this can sometimes be unbearable.

-My chin is maybe over-sensitive? For example, I get spots, and if they were on my chin and I used a face scrub or even if I tried to 'pick' one, the pain is excruciating  Sometimes just scratching my chin in a 'normal' way can bring me to tears and I'm not sure if I should tell my doctor this?

-my gums are still numb, but brushing my teeth causes a lot of pain/sensitivity. I use appropriate toothpaste, but the discomfort is still there. It means I'm unable to brush my teeth for as long as I should.

-My jaw clicking/locking only happens very very rarely now, not when i eat, or talk and not even when I yawn. I find it happens when I'm stressed or tired, but even then it's a tiny click compared to what I experienced for years, so I'll take it.

-Retainers, they're fine - gives you the most awful taste/breath in the morning! But if it keeps all this lovely dental work in place then  it's worth it.

*Retainer tip!

Although the ortho told me I can use soap to wash my retainers, I couldn't bare the thought of soap in my mouth, so I've only used luke-warm water and my toothbrush to clean them and so far mine still look clear without using any products like 'retainer brite' as of yet.

All in all I'm enjoying everything more now. I probably still think about surgery everyday, probably because I can still feel the bumps of the metal fixes on my jaw when I'm holding my head up on my desk during 9am lectures! 

So, I'll try and be a better Blogger, I've still been looking at all your posts and watching your progress - Natasha! So happy you've finally had your surgery! I hope it's given you what you wanted.

I'll be sure to abuse you with photos again soon!

x

I'M BRACE FREE AND SOO FRACKING HAPPY!

So here we are, it's over, finally! I almost can't believe it. I'm just so so happy...

I'll shake off the euphoria just so I can tell you how de-bracing went.

 I was still terrified, expecting the worst which would be being told I can't have them removed that day. I wore my elastics in the car and took them off last minute so that my teeth would be in the right position for sure, and when Dr  Shaarh said 'Shall we take them off then?' I almost cried as I nodded a reply as his hand was still in my mouth.

DE-BRACING HURTS

I wasn't expecting this to be honest, I thought, they would use that solution which disolves the glue, they used it to clean up my mouth when they first fitted the braces to removed excess glue, but no, they just PULLED.

My god it hurt. and then came the scrapping of the glue! very painful on sensitive teeth but I just screwed up my eyes and grasped my hands together in my lap and it was eventually over. Felt like hours but honestly took about an hour and that was with impressions made too.

RETAINER 

As soon as they'd scraped the glue off and I'd had a quick look in the mirror, they took 4 impressions of my teeth - two top two bottom. Then it was off home, until half 4 when I#d go back to retrieve my retainers. 

I was praying I would have the hard plastic type that you only have to wear at night.

Everything had gone my way that day :P

These are clear plastic, and just to worn at night every night for the first year, then every other day after that. I have to remember to buy some retainer brite to clean them with, otherwise soapy COLD water is fine (not hot as they will melt and they're only going to replace them within the first year, after that I have to pay at a dentist!) I got to chose this nice pink box too :)

I'm all moved in to my new place for uni now, living with Tom and 3 others, I'll take some photos soon and show you my room. I'm so so grateful that my braces were removed just in time for freshers' week to start! I haev the choice to tell people I meet from here on out that I had my surgery or not. Cause theres no way to know, and I like that, I look normal. 

This was the last photo taken with braces, and as happy as I was in that photo, I'm certainly more complete, more content with myself in the next few :)

So there you go, I'm pretty much done here, I'll be having a check up in 3 months, and then this time next year a meeting with my surgeon to see how I'm getting on and then I'm not going to see them again - I bought them a thank you card lol.

I'll post relevant things soon and let you know about numbness and other jaw related things, and I'm always looking at your progress - it makes me happy to see everyone getting on so well.

But for now, I'm gonna focus on smiling and going out and building back some of that confidence I've been missing all these years!

See you soon 

x

Day 25 - BRACES ARE COMING OFF IN 27 DAYS!?!

Just a quick post - I start back at work tomorrow morning and I'm stressing like crazy at how I'm gonna manage to afford to move in to my house in 3 weeks for uni as I've been denied sick pay! I know it's ridiculous after they told me weeks ago I was eligable. Now I gotta try and claim it from the Job Center. Effort.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

I got a phone call from the hospital as a reminder about my appointment. ''I said, yeah the 13th? I know''. They said ''No no, on the 5th of September in the Dental department!!!''

So I think this is it! I will (not to tempt fate) be brace free in 27 days!!!

I hope everything goes to plan, I need to start wearing my elastics better - I've been leaving them off for hours at a time after I've eaten...tut tut!

It's so great to see bloggers finally having a surgery count down - I'm so excited for all of you!

Right, time for bed, my next post will be my first before and after pics, as I feel I'm looking alright with the swelling! 

Night Night x

Day 9/ Day 10/ Day 11 - Elastics fitted

Hey so I've been posting next to nothing as there's honestly not been much to report!

I had my appointment at Newcross - where I had the surgery, and my surgeon was really really pleased with his work, no I mean really pleased. He kept standing back and staring at me and smiling - it was as if I'd done a painting and was proud of my work, which is fair enough really - I'm proud of his work!

He said everything went well, the reasons I have a larger swelling on my left side is due to a haematoma when they were cutting (this is just a collection of blood which made a swelling as it bruised). he says my stitches are healing fine and he was happy with my recovery. So they've discharged me from that hospital :)

Today was the first day where I've taken no tablets as I've woken up :) I'd been off the co-codamol for a few days now, but still had ibuprofen in the mornings and at night to help me sleep, but today I woke up with no headache, no jawlock - it was bliss!

I had my appointment at the manor hospital - where I've had my orthodontics done for the last 2 years, and he is really pleased, again, and said that there's not much more to do on his end, as he tried to do as much as he could pre-op. 

I've had to have some elastics though! 

He put one either side...not too bad as I could still open my mouth fairly good. Then he added two more closer to the front - I wanted to cry, I felt so distressed - I couldn't even open my mouth to speak let alone would be able to add any food in there!

He then showed me them in the mirror, and told me the outer ones stay on, but the front ones I have to put on myself just for night time. 

I was so relieved! 

I felt devastated thinking I've only just been able to open my mouth and chew some foods and now this! But it's going to be okay - If I can manage to put the bands on!  But on the bright side I might have my braces off soon! He said he will do it as soon as I can open my mouth fully!

So, this is me, day... 11 I think? That's what my count down says anyway!

Can't wait for the last of the swelling to go so I can really see the results!

Here's the elastics which will stay on until my appointment next week maybe? (hopefully!)

This shows me where I need to put the elastics.. Wish me luck - They're so fiddley! 

This is as wide as I can go with these elastics in!!!

This is now my favorite side. My new 'good side' even with swelling I'm so happy with it.

All in all, I'm still a very happy customer! 

It's still worth it :)

Hope everyone is well, hang in there, whatever your circumstances, I feel it'll change your life for the better - just 4mm has made me so happy and given me so much confidence!

Enjoy the weekend! 

Day 7/ Day 8

Good evening bloggers,

Day 6

so... not much happened today except that I felt ill! Not even jaw-pain ill, just sick ill, and I was really worried about being sick, as I really don't want that when I can barely open my mouth!

Pain is minimal again which is good, and I've been on paracetamol and just 2 co-codamol tablets which is good.

I've been very stir crazy today as I've been bored and just wanted to sleep through the nausea and also feeling very sad and helpless as my 12 year old, seizure-prone cat, Biddy is missing, She wandered off and is generally very disoriented so she is unable to find her way back. I hope she's okay but I'm not full of confidence.

Day 7

I spent a good chunk of the day searching my neighborhood for my cat as those of you in the UK may have experience, we had horrendous thunderstorm, which woke me at 5 am, and all I could think of was the face that she's out in that - if she's still alive...

The doors I knocked on, those that answered, I could see them straining to understand me- my family have become tuned in to my clumbsy undefined speech but to strangers I found myself compelled to defend myself and blurt out 'I just had jaw surgery!' Most were understanding.

Today I had no jaw pain or discomfort when I woke, except a headache and I could feel my pulse in my gums where my stitches are.

Speaking of stitches.... I've found something strange! Where the stitches in my left side come over my gum where my wisdom teeth once were, there is a plastic like, cellophane kinda material just attached by stitches! I didn't notice this before as I didn't have enough movement in my tongue or mouth to feel that far back but I honestly have no idea if it's supposed to be there or not. I'm half expecting to be told at my check up tomorrow that they stitched some packaging in my accident!

So yeah, appointment at half ten tomorrow, hopefully they'll be pleased with my recovery and healing and they'll be nothing else that I have to have done.

Here's my latest on swelling and bruising - it's still very confined to the one side - which is irritating as I've just got rid of asymmetry and now I have it cause of this lol!

My chin is starting to regain feeling- it's very very itchy! my lip is going down now, and doesn't feel so poofy, but is still mostly numb.

Oh, and I've officially lost a stone now! I don't feel any different really.... ~I'll keep it up though! I needed this as a boost!

See you tomorrow, hope you're all well x

Day 3/ Day 4 Recap/ Start of Day 5/ Medication and food!

Good afternoon guys!

As you can see, I'm posting a day late, a few days at a time. This is partly due to laziness, and because that way I get to post a more detailed account instead of half the day and what not.

Day 3
Wednesday 17th July

Bruising is still very dark today

So Tom arrived at my door today! It was so nice to see him again - and although I'd skyped with him in the hospital, so he'd already seen my face, today I was alot more swollen and I felt very conscious of him looking at me! He doesn't seem to mind though - he's pretty great like that!

I spent all day lying in bed with him, and watched a whole season of Sons of Anarchy! Very productive :P

Food

So I still felt pretty good this day, I had:
- a glass of slim fast banana shake
-half a bag of crushed Skips
-cups of tea here and there
-lots of water (I've peed so much lol)
-few spoons of cheese and potato pie from yesterday
-frubes x2

Pain Management

-I was given co-codamol for pain relief, 1 tablet x4 a day
-some gigantic antibiotic pill 1 tablet x3 a day
-and I bought some ibuprofen which I can take with the co-codamol, so I've been staggering the pills, taking the ibu half way through my dose of co-codamol, and it's been pretty good. 

The only thing which is very frustrating is my lips- they're not quite numb, just very tingly, and the corners of my mouth are a little torn and sore from being stretched so I'm smothering on vaseline. at the momment this is the most painful - which is good in the scheme of things!


Day 4
Thursday 18th July

 I'm sad. it hurts to smile today

So today was not so good
Although I've been sleeping from through until about 7am, then taking meds and mouthwash and then going back to sleep until about 12pm, I was exceptionally uncomfortably today.

If anything, it's more like what I thought I'd feel like, as I feel I'd been very lucky until now.

Main pain was my lips, and my throat, as it's very scratched and sore from having the breathing stuff down it for 2 hours! 

I didn't even try and eat today, 

Food

-I managed a few cups of hot lemonade and honey
-half a slim fast shake
-half a cup of soup - chicken flavor lol, it didn't hurt my throat

My throat was so sore I couldn't even manage a lot of water or yoghurt.

Oh, and probably the most annoying thing right now, is that my front teeth rest digging in to my bottom lip - which, although I can't feel it right now, its full of ulcers and will definitely hurt when the feeling comes back!

I even had a little cry from frustration but then it was starting to make my throat worse so I stopped.

Day 5 as of now

my poor lip! But I'm still crazy happy with my jaw results

I can smile today, feel a lot more content, and I ate some wheatabix and tea :)

The bruising is very yellow- which hopefully means it won't be around much longer

Really happy that Heather's surgery went well! We'll keep each other company through recovery :P

Bottom line - 
Still no regrets! and frozen peas work miracles! 

See you tomorrow :)

Surgery in 7 days!!/ Post-opp-Inventory?

So, this time next week, hopefully it will all be over, and hopefully despite the swelling and pain, I will be happy :)

I'm very nervous - I got very overwhelmed and cried on webcam to Tom the other night, but that's just between us okay?

But, thinking more logically now, I need to start preparing for post opp life

So, I know a lot of you after surgery posted a list of things you needed, used and didnt use during recovery and other than Frubes (cause they're delicious), I haven't really got anything yet!

Any suggestions?

I could very easily live off of these :)

10 Days to go...chat with surgeon in a few hours...can't sleep!!!

I think my post title is self explanatory,

I've spent the last few hours reading all your blogs and looking at footage of corrective jaw surgery - it's pretty gross lol.

I'm really tired..working nights since I was 17 has really screwed my sleeping pattern up, this surgery will get me some much needed rack-time! 

I think I'll upload a little video soon, cause I wanna get used to posting those as well as photos after surgery - it's nice when you can put a voice to a face :) oh, and I'll let you hear how loud my jaw cracks!

Right, I've procrastinated too much, off to bed, will let you know how my meeting with my surgeon goes tomorrow... or erm, today rather!

Good night!!

14 days to go!!!

So this time tomorrow, surgery will be over with- or maybe I'll still be under the knife, I'm not really sure how long its gonna take, but I have one last appointment come though with my surgeon for this Thursday 4th July where he will make any final adjustments and answer any last questions  I have, like how long will it take etc.

So, this is pretty trivial, but if any of you have seen my previous irrelevant posts, you'll know I love piercings. I have 19 of them, and worry about a few which I feel will heal up fast if left out - I have to practically re-pierce my nose if I forget to put it back in after work! I might be stating the obvious, but I don't think they'll even let me keep in plastic retainers whilst I'm in surgery - I know its for my own safety, and I'm sure I'll have better things to worry about, but when I come to, the first thing I'll wanna do is put my piercings back in!

I'm getting pretty nervous right now...I'm probably driving my family and friends crazy as I'm always talking about it. My boyfriend is being great about it too - he wants to come down immediately after I'm out of surgery, but I hate feeling vulnerable and I'm gonna look and feel like shiiiite so I don't know about that yet.

Bottom line is, I can't wait!

I'll post on thursday and tell you all what my surgeon has to say :)

Have a good week!

x

It's Very Very Real Now!!

I love getting mail, especially when it consists of letters telling me the time of my surgery!

First letter was titled notification of pre-admission, and is a pre-operative assessment for 9th July.

My actual surgery letter is 15th July at 7am. I'm instructed not to eat anything after midnight and drink only water up to 7am.

Both the assessment and the surgery are performed at my local hospital which is a 10 minute walk so I won't be travelling miles to the Manor Hospital where I've been treated so far, until after surgery where hes requested I see him every Friday for at least 6 weeks.

I'm so excited I just want to get on with it. I'm really scared I'll have terrible luck and get sick before hand! I can't afford to have this postponed so I'm gonna really look after myself!

It's so close I finally feel relief :)

I'm fashioning some new brace-bling....surgery ready!!!

Today was so exciting!!!

Had my last adjustments made today! Was my longest appointment ever, took about an hour.

• I had my pink bands removed 
• My wire was taken out and some very attractive surgical hooks were added
• I had two sets of impressions taken - first lot failed cause the room temperature was too high and the clay set before it was properly done
• Two of my back molars were filled down....this came as a shock as he didn't discuss this with me, just started fillin' away! But apparently they were too pointy and would have dug in to my teeth once aligned
• I had to bite on to a kinda wax/clay mould whilst holding a metal frame over my head and some new guy came in and turned lots of dials and screws and then wrote down said measurments and then fitted this to a frame which apparently is to made this 3D 'wafer' 

The 15th July is DEFINITELY mine! All mine!

I will be seeing my surgeon once more in 3 weeks after this 3D thing is made, and then that's it! All systems a go :)

I'd forgotten what my teeth looked like under all that metal!

My wires had not been removed since before CHRISTMAS! It was so nice to get them properly cleaned!

The finished result of the day - I'm full of metal - no bands, just wires and hooks! They hurt like hell against my lips right now! But it's okay! This is a good pain cause it means I'm almost there :)

Now! I'd better go as I've got a little packing to do as I'm spending 2 weeks at my new boyfriends house whilst his family are away ... yup, I'm pretty loved-up right now :) I can't wait for this surgery also, so that he can come down and look after me, I told him he needs to provide me with those yogurt things I had as a kid called 'Frubes' and give me lots of attention whilst I feel sorry for myself :)

Tom doesn't seem to be phased by my metal mouth!! 

Have a good weekend everyone!!! Keep posting cause seriously, you guys get me through the days with your progress and your stories! xxx

Surgery prep begins!!! :D

Good Afternoon, you beautiful braced-bloggers!

I'm in a significantly amazing mood as I came home yesterday to find a letter containing my next appointment which will consist of a bunch of pre-op preperations!

I think I am getting my surgical braces on (YAY) I just wish I could still have my pink rubber bands on!

I know for sure that I'm getting more X-rays and impressions made to create a 3D 'Wafer' or whatever that is.

And I will find out for SURE if July 15th is my date :)

I see you're all coming along so well! post opps- you're healing nicely and looking great! and those of you like me know its not too far away now! 

So, Friday 31st May I will update you as soon as I leave the hospital!


Speak to you soon!

Could it be...?

Good evening, or, if you're here in the UK with me, good (early) morning! I've just finished work and thought I'd let you know how my appointment went.

[SOS brace appointment to sort out the gap which had formed]

So I had my 'favorite' locum orthodontist, and okay, I will actually admit he was nice to me last week, and I think there's a mutual agreement to surrender any grudges and misconceptions which we may have had for each other - or maybe its cause we both know we'll never have to see each other again! aha!

But on an amazing note, after he sorted the gap, by adding 2 elastics either side of my bottom teeth, my mom asked him if he had any idea when my surgery would be (she wants to book a holiday....) and he looked surprised and said, 'oh, haven't you received your joint clinic date yet? because your surgery is all planned here (gestures to my file)' 

I was like, No. Fracking. Way.

This means, that my surgeon has put in to writing/drawing/whatever, what I am having done! I don't know what this plan is yet, but its real! and its there! and its going to happen! I'm litterally just waiting for a meeting with him, so he can share this with me - I have a good feeling that it has been posted to me and I will receive this next week. so...

I could be having surgery this month?!?

I'm feeling good about this - I'm confident, and optimistic and I just know it won't be much longer, I mean, my teeth are done now, so they can't keep them in this limbo of not moving much longer! This is such a better feeling than last week, and I promise, even if I get let down again, I'll stay positive cause you guys really know how to help keep me going - I need to get my ass in to gear and do the same for you!

So for all you Brace bloggers, who, like me, are quickly approaching the 2 year mark...

Hang in there, it's gonna get better, I promise!

(I Was so happy, I went for a walk and smiled to myself whilst listening to some very positive music :) )

FYI - I never did find out what was causing the blood/metallic taste, and Google says a common cause is pregnancy, but I'm ruling that one out as I appear to be missing one key act for this to be a possibility... >.<

Pretty-Pointless-Post

Today I felt like I'd had enough, of braces, of waiting, of everything. 
They make me so claustrophobic sometimes I just wanna rip 'em out of my mouth!

Next month I will have had these braces for two years. 

My dad said today, ''Its really flown by, hasn't it?''
I said ''I hope that's sarcasm''

I have to call the hospital tomorrow, cause I'm yet to have my appointment for the joint clinic come through, and yes, I am selfishly growing impatient, I'm now wondering if this wait will leak in to June? July? Perhaps I'll end up with surgery for my birthday in August, cause one things for sure, its not happening this Month. I very much doubt the next too.

I want to move on... its like, okay, I've done the whole braces thing now, that's enough, let me look like an adult for once - because since being an adult I've had these stuck to my face. 

Maybe I'll have better news for tomorrow. 

But for now, have a great night, my Brace-Bloggers, and I hope all is well with everyone!

Sick of calling this my good side....