Just Dropping by... (I Miss You All) Day 472

I've genuinely surprised myself as I logged on to this blog tonight - I'm incredibly emotional as I visit everybody's pages, and re-read my own. 

- Corrinne -

 ''...I hope one day I feel 100% worthy of someone. Just to feel totally adored and valued - and to feel like I deserve it, without question or doubt...' 

You absolutely got me as I was reading that line. That is bang on what goes through my head a good majority of the time; feeling overly grateful for a person wanting to be with me, and constantly doubting their motives- can't just accept that it may be that I'm a wonderful, kind person right?

I think I miss the sense of belonging that I got from sharing with this little Brace-Faced community -  something unique to be a part of, with people who just 'got it'. 
But I also think that knowing when it's no longer necessary to post frequent updates is important. I'm of course keeping this blog open for people to benefit from it the way I benefited from others, but as you can see, my last update was 17th April 2014, so My posts will most likely become yearly - That doesn't mean I don't come nosing around to see what y'all been up to ;) I like to see what everyone's doing and in a sense, watching people grow -this blog has been here for getting on 4 years!

How is my jaw, you ask?

It looks like this :)

So July just gone was my 1 year post op mark - it came and went before I even realized. I forgot to post anything and then I guess life got in the way.

The only downside (and really, it's not a big deal!) 

My numbness has not changed, the feeling in my right lower lip, chin and all of my bottom gums has not returned, nor does it seem like it ever will at this point. It can be frustrating, and makes me feel quite clumsy when say, I'm out eating with my class mates, or generally anywhere in public, as I'm prone to not notice food around my mouth but if you asked my dad he'd tell you this has always been a problem...

My surgeon is genuinely stumped about this as he claims (according to his surgery notes) ''...both nerves were seen and avoided - no damage...'' so he doesn't understand why just one side has recovered despite both sides enduring the same thing. He's booked me in for another check up in 6 months.

But everything is generally well! 

I'm waiting for my orthodontic appointment in a few weeks where they'll decide if I've been wearing my retainers properly. ( I haven't, but it's because they're so lose they don't do anything for my teeth!) My teeth look fine to me - no drastic movement despite infrequent retainer use, which is probably because I haven't grown in about 8 years so the retainers have an easy job!

oh, I also had my FIRST scale and polish/ dental check up SINCE BEFORE BRACES which was 4 years ago! My dentist was shocked my this but said I had perfectly clean teeth despite this. I described some sensitivity I get since being de-braced, he took some xrays and decided that there may or may not be some decay in one of my molars (where the bracket would have been) he said there's no way to know for sure so I can either have it drilled to find out or leave it! I said no way am I having a filling just cause I 'might' have a problem!

So I'm just sticking to the Sensodyne ;)

Lastly- What have I been up to?

Well! Most significantly for me, I hitch-hiked from London to Budapest in 4 days spending no money and using nothing but my wit and charm to get there, all in aid of AICR which we raised an amazing £31k!!! Worth every blister ;)

Tom and I pleased with ourselves as we blag our way on to a German train!

Finally made it to Budapest! - Group photo of all the teams

Enjoyed my first festival! Sonisphere 2014 - a little too much!

 Pirates for Alestorm :)

Moved my 'elderly' bunnies in to my uni house, and got two new gerbils to the growing collection of animals 

I'm painting again! Just cause i don't study it doesn't mean I should waste my *ahem* talent 

Rango ;)

I got some more tattoos... not really news but sure I like them!

All in all things are going well! I'm very happy still living as a student with my partner and our pets, I'm well in to my second year at university now - I'll be a Forensic Investigator in no time! ;)

Wishing everyone well, new followers and old friends

Best wishes until next time 

x

When you're smiling.... Day: 276/ Shout-outs for Corrinne, Amanda and Natasha!

So I recently got asked about my surgery by a girl who will be having her surgery at the end of this month (Good Luck, Sarah!) and talking about it again made me think I should do a little update.

What can I say, I'm really happy, I feel good, no, better than good I feel NORMAL! I'm making eye contact with my peers and lecturers at university and no one has said to me 'GOSH You've had jaw surgery!' (sounds stupid but this was at one point a fear..' 

Nope, no one suspects a thing ;) But don't get me wrong, I'm far from embarrassed about it. I needed it. I wanted it, and it's helped me, and so many more people like me, not look better - that's just the bonus, but feel confident enough to walk in to a room full of people and to know that whatever thoughts pop in to their heads, it's not about your jaw!

I've had some big presentations since being at university- group and individual, and I was able to stand at the podium and look each person in the eyes, and not feel the burning stare I used to get as they tried to assess what was off about my face!

Jaw Stuff? Oh right I forgot that's what you come here for!

I am almost 10 months post opp and honestly, my only complaint is again, numbness. It's still there in half of my chin and all of my lower lip - and the gums are the worst. My surgeon still swears there was no disruption of the nerve so because of this, even he doesn't know when I will regain sensation, he just says I should.

I know its a little far gone to be talking about swelling, but there is kinda still some there. My right side of this photo, is still 'thicker; than the other, which is due to the mass of muscle, which has been described to me as 'shifted in to a pile' when my face was rotated, so the thinner side is thinner literally because it has less muscle on it. the thicker side will settle down with time, but even if it didn't I wouldn't be bothered.

(On a side note, I got hit in the face at a concert the other month and OH MY GOD it hurt - I can feel the metal in the sides of my face, and around them was a sharp shooting pain and it swelled a little the next few days.)

Despite not posting, I still visit here probably 5 times a month to see how y'all doing, and I must say theres some amazing results you've got!

Natasha! (awimpsguidetoorthognathicsurgery.blogspot.co.uk)  You look happier each time I see your updates! Hope you have fun in Germany!

Corrinne, (jawsurgery-journey.blogspot.co.uk) your de-braced smile is beautiful :)

and Amanda (bracefacethesequel.blogspot.co.uk) You're glowing! Good luck with your family!

Day 113 - Where has the time gone?

Wow, where do I begin?

These last few months have gone so fast - I mean it's almost Christmas!

I'm a bad Blogger - I haven't blogged since 19th September!

I've been busy, living away from home in my new shared house (yay), studying Forensics; looking at lots of dead bodies, and of course, going out and having lots of photos taken- from ANY angle ;)

Halloween! I carved my first pumpkin all by myself (my mom usually scoops out the seeds!)

It's Jack Skellington 

I'm still so happy - and generally content with my jaw, I don't shy away any more!

But first, here's my new room!! It pretty much looks like my old room now that I've moved all my paintings and posters in to it!

I love this house, it's so nice :) It's an old house which had been modified inside and we're the first people to live in it since so it's all nice and fresh. Floor space! I've been craving it since I moved out in 2010 for uni but came back to find my brother had taken my room leaving me with the box room. 

New Additions! 

Tom and I got some mice :) They're currently residing on my bedroom floor as I don't have a table to put them on, but they're cute to watch. we named them Bubblegum and Rainicorn - from Cartoon Network's Adventure Time :)

JAW STUFF

-I'm still pretty distressed at times with the sensation I get in my chin and gums, they're still really numb...but not numb enough to ignore. I get lots of itching, not tingling, the tingling was easy to deal with, but this can sometimes be unbearable.

-My chin is maybe over-sensitive? For example, I get spots, and if they were on my chin and I used a face scrub or even if I tried to 'pick' one, the pain is excruciating  Sometimes just scratching my chin in a 'normal' way can bring me to tears and I'm not sure if I should tell my doctor this?

-my gums are still numb, but brushing my teeth causes a lot of pain/sensitivity. I use appropriate toothpaste, but the discomfort is still there. It means I'm unable to brush my teeth for as long as I should.

-My jaw clicking/locking only happens very very rarely now, not when i eat, or talk and not even when I yawn. I find it happens when I'm stressed or tired, but even then it's a tiny click compared to what I experienced for years, so I'll take it.

-Retainers, they're fine - gives you the most awful taste/breath in the morning! But if it keeps all this lovely dental work in place then  it's worth it.

*Retainer tip!

Although the ortho told me I can use soap to wash my retainers, I couldn't bare the thought of soap in my mouth, so I've only used luke-warm water and my toothbrush to clean them and so far mine still look clear without using any products like 'retainer brite' as of yet.

All in all I'm enjoying everything more now. I probably still think about surgery everyday, probably because I can still feel the bumps of the metal fixes on my jaw when I'm holding my head up on my desk during 9am lectures! 

So, I'll try and be a better Blogger, I've still been looking at all your posts and watching your progress - Natasha! So happy you've finally had your surgery! I hope it's given you what you wanted.

I'll be sure to abuse you with photos again soon!

x

Day 25 - BRACES ARE COMING OFF IN 27 DAYS!?!

Just a quick post - I start back at work tomorrow morning and I'm stressing like crazy at how I'm gonna manage to afford to move in to my house in 3 weeks for uni as I've been denied sick pay! I know it's ridiculous after they told me weeks ago I was eligable. Now I gotta try and claim it from the Job Center. Effort.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

I got a phone call from the hospital as a reminder about my appointment. ''I said, yeah the 13th? I know''. They said ''No no, on the 5th of September in the Dental department!!!''

So I think this is it! I will (not to tempt fate) be brace free in 27 days!!!

I hope everything goes to plan, I need to start wearing my elastics better - I've been leaving them off for hours at a time after I've eaten...tut tut!

It's so great to see bloggers finally having a surgery count down - I'm so excited for all of you!

Right, time for bed, my next post will be my first before and after pics, as I feel I'm looking alright with the swelling! 

Night Night x

Day 6 - It gets better

It definitely gets better!

Yesterday I left the house for the first time since coming home from hospital, Tom and I took the dogs for a walk in the woods at 8pm so it was quiet and I didn't feel self-conscious.

 This was the first time I felt I looked normal, I'm still all lumpy, bruised and swollen but I have some definition to my jaw unlike all the previous days. 

Today I managed to brush all of my teeth properly- it was pretty gross! 

But I also found my stitches! They run along side my gums to the back of my mouth, and my right side has started to bleed a little- probably just due to the movement I can do now.

My jaw keeps locking- as it has done post-op, but until today I'd left it along as I'm scared I'll do some damage, but I'd had enough of the stiffness so I just cracked it.

Omg

The relief of being able to open my mouth a little wider was amazing. 

How I'm doing!

Pain

Pain in one way is at it's lowest today, as I slept right through until 11am, as opposed to waking to have my next pain killers at 6am as I have been doing. My stitches are throbbing today, and it kinda stings when I use my antiseptic mouthwash. despite this, I've only had two co-codamols and no ibuprofen inbetween, so it must be getting better.

Food!

I've eaten the most as of yet,
-half a slimfast shake
-1/3 wheatabix
-cups of tea
-soft bits of bread with houmus + soup
-and kind of a roast dinner with my family, which was mash potatoes, gravy, and cauliflower cheese 

I weighed myself and I've actually lost 11lbs since last sunday! Nice little bonus, I'll try and keep it up!

I have 2 appointments coming up, one next Wednesday, 24th July at the hospital I had my surgery at for a check up. Then on Friday 26th July at the manor- where I've been having my ortho work done.

Hopefully I can open my mouth wide enough for them to see in by then!

Right, Tom went home today so I'm gonna have an early night.

See you later!

Day 3/ Day 4 Recap/ Start of Day 5/ Medication and food!

Good afternoon guys!

As you can see, I'm posting a day late, a few days at a time. This is partly due to laziness, and because that way I get to post a more detailed account instead of half the day and what not.

Day 3
Wednesday 17th July

Bruising is still very dark today

So Tom arrived at my door today! It was so nice to see him again - and although I'd skyped with him in the hospital, so he'd already seen my face, today I was alot more swollen and I felt very conscious of him looking at me! He doesn't seem to mind though - he's pretty great like that!

I spent all day lying in bed with him, and watched a whole season of Sons of Anarchy! Very productive :P

Food

So I still felt pretty good this day, I had:
- a glass of slim fast banana shake
-half a bag of crushed Skips
-cups of tea here and there
-lots of water (I've peed so much lol)
-few spoons of cheese and potato pie from yesterday
-frubes x2

Pain Management

-I was given co-codamol for pain relief, 1 tablet x4 a day
-some gigantic antibiotic pill 1 tablet x3 a day
-and I bought some ibuprofen which I can take with the co-codamol, so I've been staggering the pills, taking the ibu half way through my dose of co-codamol, and it's been pretty good. 

The only thing which is very frustrating is my lips- they're not quite numb, just very tingly, and the corners of my mouth are a little torn and sore from being stretched so I'm smothering on vaseline. at the momment this is the most painful - which is good in the scheme of things!


Day 4
Thursday 18th July

 I'm sad. it hurts to smile today

So today was not so good
Although I've been sleeping from through until about 7am, then taking meds and mouthwash and then going back to sleep until about 12pm, I was exceptionally uncomfortably today.

If anything, it's more like what I thought I'd feel like, as I feel I'd been very lucky until now.

Main pain was my lips, and my throat, as it's very scratched and sore from having the breathing stuff down it for 2 hours! 

I didn't even try and eat today, 

Food

-I managed a few cups of hot lemonade and honey
-half a slim fast shake
-half a cup of soup - chicken flavor lol, it didn't hurt my throat

My throat was so sore I couldn't even manage a lot of water or yoghurt.

Oh, and probably the most annoying thing right now, is that my front teeth rest digging in to my bottom lip - which, although I can't feel it right now, its full of ulcers and will definitely hurt when the feeling comes back!

I even had a little cry from frustration but then it was starting to make my throat worse so I stopped.

Day 5 as of now

my poor lip! But I'm still crazy happy with my jaw results

I can smile today, feel a lot more content, and I ate some wheatabix and tea :)

The bruising is very yellow- which hopefully means it won't be around much longer

Really happy that Heather's surgery went well! We'll keep each other company through recovery :P

Bottom line - 
Still no regrets! and frozen peas work miracles! 

See you tomorrow :)

Day 1 Recap/ Day 2/ LOTS OF PICTURES + Shout outs!

Right! This is the last two days from the beginning, be prepared for a lot of photos!

So, as you know, on Monday 15th at 7am I checked in to Newcross hospital, and started what turned out to be a very long wait.

Surgery morning

I had a slight temperature (37.9) so they took some bloods and made me wait. then there were no beds free, so my wait continued, I was starting to worry that I would be sent home and would have to be postponed! But then luckily, at 2.15pm I was told to get changed into my gown and head down to theater. 

my converse match my gown :)

one last smile with this face :)

 I really got to the point where I wasn't nervous anymore. I don't know whether it was due to my long wait, or maybe I just figured, its gonna happen. whether I'm scared or not, so I might as well go in with my head held high and big-ass smile on my face :)

The staff were really nice, chatting away to me as they got ready. they took my temperature again and it was still a little high, but I litterally stressed to them how hot it was in the waiting room and that I felt fine - also hadn't been allowed any fluids since 6am!

The surgeon was talking to me about CSI and before I knew it, the room began to spin- they'd given me the anesthesia without me even realising and I was off to sleep :)

2 hours later - half an hour post op

I woke up at about 6.15pm feeling fine - I must really agree with being put to sleep - I feel like I've had a great nights sleep!

I asked if I could remove my oxygen mask, they agreed and then told me I looked really happy I was like I am! They cleaned up my hands and face, and then I raised my hand to feel my jaw for the first time. 

Already I could tell the difference - where my chin would normally be was nothing lol, it felt smaller, and yes, swollen, but already I felt really happy.

I was up and about immediately and didn't feel like sleeping or lying down. My parents turned up about 7pm, and the look of relief on my moms face was funny - apparently she'd been stressing about seeing me so swollen but was relieved when it wasn't too bad.

I hadn't seen myself yet - there were no mirrors in my room and I didn't have my stuff back yet, but my mom took these pictures.

 I can feel and see the difference in my chin length, and despite the swelling being uneven, I can see the symmetry already :) 

Now, my dad pointed out these bruises on my leg, I wondered if one of the surgeons had pinched me as they lent over me, but when I showed the nurse, she told me that it was from the pads used to 'ground' me as a current is used with one of the cutting devices! I'd just had a reaction to the adhesive.

My first night

I was dosed up with codine and paracetamol at 7.30pm, and when it came for my next dose at 11pm I had to eat something to line my stomach. I had this yogurt - it was amazing :) and I felt great still - no nausea or trouble breathing or anything.

 I managed to sleep from 12ish to about 4am, then was awake until now! I'm pretty exhausted, but it was annoying as there was no blind in my room so the sunshine kept me awake. 

Numbness

my left side, which was very swollen compared to my right, had almost complete numbness, and my chin and lip was numb too. 

My surgeon told me that they were able to completely avoid my nerve so there will be no damage which I was very happy about!

Day 2

I was a lot more swollen today- my throat is pretty swollen and that thing that dangles at the back of your throat must be swollen cause it feels like I need to constantly spit something out. 

I'm so happy to see my front teeth again!!! I've missed them. my bite is perfectly straight at the front, but my molars don't meet properly so I guess I'll have a fair bit of brace work after. 

 For breakfast I had a few spoonfuls of readybrek and some juice and tea which was nice. But I've mostly drank water - I'm probably more hydrated than ever before!

 The bruising is really coming out, on my left side and under my chin. I finally got discharged at 3pm, I've been so much happier at home!

Overall I'm so surprised at how well I feel - I feel I was very lucky and had a very smooth ride. I hope this will continue.
I'm currently lying here with a bag of peas on my face - it's really helped with the swelling. I keep getting a really itchy chin - but because its still numb I can't feel where to scratch it, it's driving me crazy!

Well I'm gonna try and get some sleep now, and I just wanted to say thank you to all of you, Amanda K, Corrinne, Ellie Fant, Cassie, Sarah P,
Heather - I hope all went well today!!! 
Natasha - I will definitely meet up with you when I'm in Peterborough! maybe the 28th??

Anyone I've missed  I do appologise - I'm fracking knakered!

Good night guys - It's all been worth it!!!! 

Day 1- POST OPP!

Hey guys I made it!

I wrote a massive post after I got out of theater yesterday but then my phone battery died and I couldn't be bothered to re type it!

Bottom line is I feel surprisingly great!

I'm in no pain and my numbness is fading now.

It's impossible to use this blog app on my phone so when I go home I'll bombard you with my story and photos!

Speak to you in a few hours. And than you all so much for being here for me- reading your posts last night was wonderful x I'm currently very slowly licking ready brek off a baby spoon so I gotta go :)

Just 1 sneaky photo or two:)

Ill explain the swelling later. But I'm already so happy with the results x